E96: Is Religion Stealing Your Voice?
**This episode was transcribed by Otter.ai, so please forgive any spelling errors.
Dr. Seida 0:00
You're listening to the Loveish podcast and I'm your host, Dr. Sita hood, Vision architect and licensed therapist. Each week, I'm going to help you to develop the belief and strategy necessary to make an immediate impact on the world by deep diving into topics like mental wellness, faith, relationships, and you guessed it, love. I should mention before we happen to the show, this is not a substitute for a relationship with a licensed therapist. You ready? Let's get it
Unknown Speaker 0:38
Hey, baby. Mooney.
Dr. Seida 0:45
How are you doing? Welcome back for another episode of the Loveish Podcast. I am your host, Dr. Sita hood, Vision architect and licensed therapist. How are you feeling this week? what's in your mug? what's in your mug? Come on, you know, I'm gonna ask at this point. What are you drinking? Of course, I got the handy dandy roommate on deck for water consumption because we got to drink our water in mind our business. And at this point like roommate come on holiday you grew up was sponsorship. Just kidding. But none of y'all serious though. Anyway. Also back to the vanilla sweet cream cold brew because it's summertime. And I feel like this drink got all the summertime vibes. So what's on your mind? Let me know. You can leave me a comment. You can tag me on social media, you know? And if you have not subscribed to my channel yet, what are we doing? You're showing up every week. You're telling me what's in your mug? You're talking back when we're having these conversations? What are we doing? Go ahead and subscribe. Okay, let's get into today's episode. First off, I know that I'm talking about something that is highly controversial. Right. So we had an episode a little bit ago about cardi and Lizzo, when he was clutching your pearls on that one, you probably really got me clutching your pearls on this one because we're talking about the ways that religion can steal your voice. Now I want to say I love Jesus, okay, I am saved. All right, I love Jesus, I love God, I honor the Trinity, the three and one less, let that be known. Okay, I'm for it. I'm all for it. That's why I started off saying I love Jesus. Because some people just acknowledge God, they don't acknowledge Jesus as his son who was fully God and fully man all in one, I believe in the Trinity. So let's be clear. Now we got that on out the way I want to really go in to talk about religious abuse, right. So I understand that this is a very sensitive topic for people whose religious panties are in a bunch, but also for people who have been hurt by church people, people that say they believe in the Trinity that say, you know, all of these things, but are just flawed humans, as we all are, if you experienced religious abuse, that wasn't God, that was a human that is flawed, and we all are flawed, which is why we need God. So to be clear, first off, I am so sorry that you experienced that religious abuse, I'm sorry that you had that as your first interpretation of who God is. That was not God, that was a human, and we all can be used by the enemy. And we all can play the villain role in somebody else's story. But that does not mean that that person even if they tried to slap God's name on it as the reason because sometimes religious leaders like to do that, even if they slap God's name on it as the reason for them doing whatever they did to you. It was not o que. They are functioning according to their understanding of the word of God and their understanding of who God is. But that's their understanding, doesn't mean that that is actually who God is. So first and foremost, I am so very sorry that that happened to you. And I want you to know that you are loved. I don't just say that for people that, you know, make positive choices all the time, or the people that look good on paper and all of that. That's for everybody that's watching. For everybody that's listening, you are loved, you are valued, you are cared for, and there is a place for you. We blame God for things that people did to us. And in reality, God was not those people and he was not in those people's actions. If you experience religious abuse, I want you to understand that God, the real God, a God of this universe would love to meet you. He would love to be in relationship with you If that is something that you're interested in, he's also not going to force himself on you, but he loves you with an everlasting love. And even though you've had an experience with those people that may have rejected you that may have talked about you that may have done you so wrong and even inflicted a traumatic experience on you. I want you to know, that was not God. Okay? So understand that understand that my heart breaks when I have people call me come to me talk to me about experiences that they've had with people who said that they were Christians and misrepresented Jesus. And it's also a lot of people out here that say that they're Christians, and they just use God's name to get what they want. Because sometimes religious people can be a little bit naive. If we are being real. Sometimes we can be naive, we think because something got God on it or slap a Jesus across there. Oh, praise Jehovah something on there that just instantly got nah, this is why the Bible say you got to test the spirit, you have to test the spirit to know that it is God. So that's first and foremost, first part of the episode is for you. I'm sorry that you experienced that. So let's talk about the ways that religion can steal your voice. Religion can steal your voice when you have well meaning people give you advice, that sounds good. But it steers you away from your purpose. So obviously, our purpose is to bring glory and honor to God. This is why I always say the expression of our purpose, because how do we bring glory and honor to God is different. But our purpose, our purpose for being on this earth is to glorify and to honor God. So the expression of that purpose for me comes through therapy, it comes through this podcast, it comes through the groups and the events that I host. It comes through me helping to activate other visionary so that they can fulfill the expression of their purpose and start projects and programs that change communities. So if you think about the expression of your purpose, being unique and different, one of the things that religion can do is give you the advice that you're supposed to stay in this box that they designed for you and that can hinder you, if you have a different perspective. If God has given you a different revelation or a different way that that should look, then you can stay stuck. The greatest example of this as a boy named David, if you don't know that story in the Bible, I highly recommend you look up David and Goliath. So David was this young boy and Goliath was a giant and Goliath was taunting the people and nobody could defeat Goliath because he was his big bad do right? And so David was like, Yeah, okay, I got this and they were like, Yo, David, if you really gonna do this, here's the stuff that you need to put on. You need to put on his armor. You need to go at it like this. You got to take those swords you got to whatever they was like, Yo, I'm gonna wear all that. I feel like I'm drowning in this that's not the real me. I can't show up like that. But then stones though, gemstones looking like I can do some with that. And they was probably over there like, Yo,
Speaker 2 8:07
you're gonna come at him with some stalls. A boy yeah, here with this man sand over here. So David, like,
Dr. Seida 8:13
whatever. He goes and get the stones, sling the stones, put it in a slingshot, boom, he defeats Goliath. But he never would have been able to defeat Goliath. If he had not leaned into the vision that he had if he hadn't seen life differently from what people were telling him he needed to be. So that is how religion can steal your voice. It can steal your purpose, it can steal your assignment, if you are not careful. Another way that religion can steal our voice is through outdated traditions that are never questioned. You know, the Bible says, or God says, I am the Lord, I've changed not and that is 100% true. But us in our human knowledge change. We grow, we expand our knowledge. Have you ever like read a Bible verse or a Bible passage? And then you like, Oh, snap, that was dope. Okay, cool. And then you leave that and you come back and you read the exact same passage, maybe several years later you on? Hold on? Was this written in the Bible when I was reading it just a couple of years ago? And the answer is, yes, it was there. But based on the experiences that you have between the first time you read the passage, and the second time you read the passage, your wisdom has increased, hopefully, your knowledge, your understanding how you see the context of the Bible, in the Scripture is different. Because you have grown, you have increased in knowledge, you have increased in wisdom. And so we owe it to ourselves to examine some of the traditions that were instilled 75 years ago, 100 years ago, 10 years ago, five years ago, because our understanding has increased our knowledge has increased our wisdom has Increase, our resources have increased. If we even just think about the lack of technology use in churches, before the pandemic, some churches, they had nothing right. And then when the pandemic hit, the membership went down significantly, the way that they did churches, some churches might have even close because they didn't have the technology to keep up with the time this was something that happened. And then you saw like zoom get a major increase probably in pricing and, and everybody using the platform, Google me now you see all these things popping up for the ability for people to have virtual meetings and virtual spaces. So we have to do ourselves proper service and examine traditions, examine the functions, the systems, the logistics of our church traditions, and we have to expand and we have to grow because that could make or break the church. And you could be so nervous to speak out and say that you have tools that could advance the church that you are sleeping potentially on an expression of your purpose, like maybe you love technology, and you love software's, and you love all of that stuff, because your purpose is in that area. But if you never explore because you're too afraid to say something, you might not find the expression of your purpose, you might continue struggling over here. And even if you lean into that thing, and you fumble the ball, so to speak, for those that are listening, I did air quotes, if you fumble the ball, then you still might discover something that if you had never started, you would have never uncovered so we owe it to ourselves again, to examine tradition, okay, the third way that religion steals your voice, let's call this the robot effect. Everybody in the church has to look the same price got the same say hallelujah, the same. Everybody has to be loud and speak in tongues, a lie, a lie, a lie, a lie, a lie, a lie. God did not call us all to worship him the same, he did not call us all to look the same. There's this misperception that you are supposed to fit this particular view. And now don't get me wrong, because I can hear some people even now. But there is a standard. Yes, absolutely. There is a standard. There are things that you do that are in alignment with the Word of God. But I'm talking about the way that people praise God, the way that people honor God in their life, the way that people show up and present. You cannot say wholeheartedly or determine wholeheartedly what God told somebody to do, unless you heard it from the Lord Himself and your best to make sure that your class that is clean when you speak and for the Holy Spirit. Okay, that's a sign by but we could do a whole episode on it. But I digress. The point is, God did not design us all to look and act the same. He designed us with unique purposes, what's the difference between water and gas to a fire, there is a major difference. One keeps the fire going, the other puts the fire out. And if you don't know the difference between the two, that could be a matter of life and death. And so the unique expression of those things is valuable. Within its proper context. Water to a fire is valuable when it's a house on fire gas to a fire is valuable. If you are in the woods or you you're somewhere where you need to burn some stuff and you got to put some lighter fluid or something on there. It's vital in its proper context. So we have to know that the unique expression is vital in its proper context, you are vital in your proper context. Okay, y'all ready for the next controversial thing? You ready? Just go ahead and clutch your pearls. Now, God never called us to religion, okay. He called us to relationship, not religion, relationship. And so many people choose to get to know God based on religion. And so the thing about a relationship is that it has to be experienced, I can't say that I don't want to know you, based on somebody else's experience of you, I don't have an experience with you. So I don't have an experience with you and I go off of this person's experience with you. I could be missing out on some major value, because that person and you y'all might be like oil and water and you just don't mix and the mix is trash. but that don't mean nothing about me you because we could go together like milk and eggs. You know, maybe we're a good combination, but I miss out on that based on somebody else's experience of you based on me taking somebody else's word. And so a lot of times we take other people's word about who God is and how God we're sponsz And I think when you're first starting off, you do have to trust what people say, if you don't understand the word, if you don't read the Bible for yourself, you do have to say, Okay, well, let me see what this really about. But you come to understand God and who God is and his character and how he shows up for you in your life, when you decide to be in relationship with him. And either with being in relationship, how do you do that? You start off small, you do a little teams, you know, you try to test their character, see what they're about. And you get to decide based on your experiences, if you want to continue the relationship or not continue the relationship and God leaves that totally up to you. You can decide you want to know him, or you can decide that you don't, he wants to know you. But if you don't want to know him, he's not alright with it. But he's not going to force you to make a decision. But I honestly don't even think that it's fair for us to make a decision about whether to get to know God or not get to know God based on other people. And so many times, that's what we do. We see how people treat other people. We see how Christians treat other people. And we make a decision that we don't want to know God based on that person's action. When truth be told, truth be told, that person might not even know God that well, you know how you see people that'd be out here starting right? They'd be like, oh, yeah, I'm not that person yet. Oh, yeah, we tight we tight. And then they do something you like, dang, you tie with that person. I thought that person was cool. And I thought they was about x, y, z. So then you start feeling a little bit funny about the other person when in reality, the person who's like, yeah, we typed me tight, we tight. They not even as tight with that person as you thought. That's how it is when you accept secondhand knowledge about who God is without trying it for yourself without trying him for yourself without trying a relationship with him for yourself. If you want to charge two charges, three charges for five, whatever, and all of them was the same. Maybe we need to reexamine what you're looking for in the chart. And maybe we need to turn to the Holy Spirit first. Maybe you need to get quiet and say like, you know what, God, I really would like to experience you like who you are. But honestly, I don't even know who that is. Because these folks are acting a fool. I know. It's probably like a misconception or whatever that Christians all the time pray like, oh, gracious, Evel avala. You know, there's a place for that. But most of the time, when I'm talking to God, I'm like, yo, hey, I need your help with this. Because, Lord, the way I'm set up right now, and I'm trying to honor you, though, so what what are we gonna do about this? You know, and so I say that to say you can talk to God, just like you're talking to me right now. Just like talking back in his episode, you can talk to God that same way, and He'll meet you exactly where you are. So I think the boldest example of religion not stealing your voice and an example of a relationship with someone is Paul Paul, whose name used to be Saul. Saul used to go around killing Christians killing Christians because he thought they were serving a false guy killing Christians because he hated Christians just period.
Dr. Seida 18:11
Until he had an encounter with God on the Damascus Road, God blinded him and showed him who he was and after that changed his name from Salta, Paul and Paul went on to serve God at a greater capacity a greater measure I mean, he even went to jail for a little lord Okay. I want to jail for the Lord who can say that now Lord I'm not asking to be tested on this I'm not asking to be tested lower please don't test me on that please don't test me on it. Please don't test me on Lor lower. I'm not Paul. Not Paul. Okay, okay. Ah, we just gotta move on from that bar. Okay. Anyway, um, God wanted a relationship with Paul a relationship with Him. And so we have to come into relationship with God not religion. I know that my perspective of God is 100% I can't say 100% is mostly really different from the way my mama sees God I know this to be true. And if you watching this episode hey man I love you. Y'all asked you like to watch the episodes and and run me feedback in my ear. We just don't move on. I love you. I love you. But you have to get to know God for yourself. And honestly, that's the same thing. I'm gonna tell my kids. I know God, I introduce you to that you understand God through me at some point, but then it's up to you to understand God for yourself. So God is not interested in changing our core personality, our core characteristics. He is interested in using us for our original intended purpose within context, just like the water just like the gas you are meant for a particular purpose, a particular expression of your purpose. And so God's not interested in changing your character for that he specifically designed you the way that you are for a unique impact. That's why I'm always over, you're like, bro, you hit different, you got to understand how you hit different. And when you understand that your impact goes much deeper than the surface level stuff. Alright, so check it out. If religion stole your voice, I want you to do two things, I want you to find your voice in God, okay. And that means understanding who you are and how you're wired, those Inklings and the things that you're drawn to those might be whispers from God about who you are about what your voice sounds like, about the unique expression of your purpose, but you can start there. And then the second thing I want you to do is to find the expression of your purpose in God. So you can again trust the Inklings and the things that you're always drawn to and figure out or find how they fit into your spiritual wall. So for example, I've always had a heart for relationships and for people and that's why when I was younger, I found it so challenging to embrace the fact that God was this rigid God that didn't care about the things that I cared about now. Yeah, God is just and he's gonna do what he got to do when he got to do it, period. Okay, but also God is loving, and he does care about the little things that bother us. And when you get caught up in religious traditions that you know, just tell you oh, just pray about it and keep it moving. No, I'm not I'm I'm I'm not my mom. My mom. Nananana No, no, no, no, no, no, God cares. When your heart is hurting. God cares. When you're experiencing depression. God cares when you have experienced a loss. He feels those things that you feel he felt them first, Jesus agonized in the garden before he had to go be crucified. Like God feels things, you get your emotions from God. And so to try and say that we have to follow these extremely rigid, I'm not talking about a standard standards or standards and standards are true. They're in the Bible, we abide by them, we live by them. But I'm talking about this rigid thing that snatches your voice and snatches your character and snatches your uniqueness and snatches away the way that God made you. That is not of God, that is a plot designed from the enemy to snatch your assignment, your mission, your purpose out of your hands. And so being passionate about relationships, being passionate about my feelings, God created me uniquely this way. And it wasn't until I got older to understand the expression of that purpose and why that has always been important to me, and finding my voice and the value of using my voice and being comfortable with using my voice. So I want you to find your voice in God and find the expression of your purpose in god it's time to talk about what I've been loving product recommendations shoutouts to family and friends and overall gratitude. Let's get into it. Welcome back to another one i've been loving this week. What I have been loving is books that activate your purpose that activate your voice first book. 100 days I believe in bigger Marshawn Evans Daniels I love Marshawn I love my shine period poo next book, we should all be millionaires Rachael Rogers. Yes. And I'm not gonna go through this episode would be so much longer if I was to go through all of these books, bamboozled by Jesus, Yvonne Orji I hope I said her name right. Professional troublemaker, lovey ja Jones, woman evolve Sara Jake's Roberts breathe 90 Day wellness journal, Dr. Cena sweater sweaty days to better relationships, the workbook, Dr. Sita, because theory yet all of these books, activate the expression of your purpose. And so I'm going to leave Nami getting excited and knocking on my COVID I'm going to leave each of these books linked down below so that you can activate your voice so that you can activate the expression of your purpose, and we could just keep things moving. Okay. If you enjoyed today's episode, share the love share with your mama share which Auntie share with your best friend. Then head on over to Apple podcasts and leave us a five star review reviews help the podcast to grow. Well. That's all I have for you this week. I'll See you out on these social media streets
Unknown Speaker 25:01
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