E110: 7 Phrases Keeping You From Abundance!

**This episode was transcribed by Otter.ai, so please forgive any spelling errors.

Dr. Seida 0:00

You're listening to the Loveish podcast and I'm your host, Dr. Sita hood, Vision architect and licensed therapist. Each week, I'm going to help you to develop the belief and strategy necessary to make an immediate impact on the world by deep diving into topics like mental wellness, faith, relationships, and you guessed it, love. I should mention before we happen to the show, this is not a substitute for a relationship with a licensed therapist. You ready? Let's get it

Dr. Seida 0:40

Welcome back for another episode of the Loveish Podcast. I am your host, Dr. Sita hood vision architect and licensed therapist. what's in your mug today? We are officially in September. That means that it's fall. It's time for an iced coffee. I've got me on deck. Okay, we have the pumpkin iced chai, iced pumpkin Chai Yamato, but the pumpkin farm on top of it and there's a special drink. That's because it was a hit last year. Okay, let's dive into the content of this episode. Are y'all ready? Are y'all ready? Okay, here we go. There's a story of a young girl who started off in an abusive situation. So she was the youngest child of her parents lineage. And our older brother was really abusive to her as a result of his abuse, she basically try to stay hidden stay out the way and her brother arranges a marriage or her to the leader of this barbaric culture, right? Naturally, she was shocked, she was taken aback, she was scared, and she was overwhelmed being immersed into this new culture. So for her wedding present, and here's where you are maybe gonna guess who I'm talking about. For her wedding presents, she was given three dragon eggs. And she had no clue what to do with them off top. But fast forward a little bit of time. And finally, after feeling miserable for so long, she decided that enough is enough. She was tired of sitting back and letting other people decide her future. So she wanted to do something, she wanted to make something happen. And she was like, Yo, this is either going to be the dumbest thing I've ever done, or the wisest thing I've ever done. And as she is in the process of making the move, she doesn't know which one she's actually doing. She don't know if it's dumb or wise. So what she does is she throws herself into the fire with the three dragon eggs. And people will lie. Oh, that's it? She did. She knows. And I was looking because I couldn't believe that she did that, that she got so overwhelmed that she would do something so dramatic. And you might have people in your life looking at you like that right now. And it's like, is it really that serious? Oh, no girl, it's like a setback. It won't take all that it you don't got to do all of that. They feel like the move that you're making is super dramatic, right? So the fire actually had the opposite effect on her. She comes out even stronger, even braver and even bolder than she was before. Because before it was she was going into fire before that she started to calm and start to feel herself a little bit. Because you know, when you get fed up and frustrated and you know things start happening to you, it pushes you into becoming a different person, right? Because you're tired. So you start saying stuff you may not have said before doing stuff you may not have done before. Here's my question. Was it actually the fire that changed her? Or was it the experience that she created for herself that caused her to see life differently? And it also caused her to see who she was differently? So was it the experience that she created? Or was it a fire? What you think, okay, that's actually a trick question. Okay. Because actually, it was both. Both of the things changed her, both the pain that she experienced in the past, but also how she chose to make a move, and her entire world shifted, based on the bravery and a mindset shift around how she viewed herself. That girl grew up to be denarius. Targaryen Yes, she was a Targaryen she was always a Targaryen right? Mother of Dragons and honestly I ain't gonna hold on to Mears was my girl up until the end she started tripping and she was still my garage just like to go to bear is if you watch the show, please please please let me know comment. Give me some feedback. below, but she always had Targaryen blood flowing through her through her veins. And therefore she always possessed the strength that she found in the fire. But sometimes it takes a little bit of fire to bring out who you are, right? It takes a little bit of friction to bring out who you are. She had to believe that she could change her life first and foremost. So my question is, what are your beliefs about you? How do you see you self image is exactly what it sounds like. It's how you see you. And I think that your story is probably like denarius story. I think that people have dictated the terms of your life and handed you stories about who you are for such a long time now. And I think that that's happened so much that you might be having trouble separating what is a thought or a narrative or story that was given to you, versus what you truly believe. And honestly, that's a major problem, because we're trying to grow. So in today's episode, we're going to talk about beliefs that are currently destroying your self image. But first, a word from our sponsor for this episode, made me poolside in Arizona, you're tired of feeling alone and trapped in a cycle of mediocrity. You're tired of constantly juggling all the things to work in a job where you have no control over the work you do. And if one more person tells you just how easy it is to manifest your dreams, you are going to screen. You don't want to keep complaining because you know you're really blessed. But you just feel really miserable where you are and terrified to take the first step. That's why we're here. We're the milyon collective Inc. And we're going to help you ditch your notebook and launch your project in as little as three months. It's time to unlock the boldest version of you know more million dollar ideas trapped in your notebooks, or in the notes section of your phone. Deep down you know you've got the genius, the tenacity and the boldness to bring this project to life. But right now, the path there feels clouded with self doubt. You want a clear step by step strategy. To make this project a reality. You want to connect with other bold dreamers just like you. You want a launch strategy that leaves people as static about your project release date, and you want to escape hustle culture. Knowing the work that you do makes a difference. We're looking to partner with you join 24k vision, a 90 day accelerator for audacious visionaries to ditch their notebooks and launch their project. Need the quick details. 90 days of support, accountability and Hot Seat consulting on our group calls a four day immersive intimate weekend experience at the andhas Luxury Resort and Spa in Scottsdale, Arizona, six months of access to the 24k club to connect with other audacious visionaries, access to our signature system, the visionary blueprint and so much more. This is not just another program. It is a blueprint and a launch strategy and we can't wait to partner with you to make your dreams a reality. Go ahead and click the link in the show notes or below this video to learn more.

Dr. Seida 8:52

Welcome back. Okay, let's jump right into it. The first lie you are not enough as you are the result of believing this lie you will try to change who you are, you will try to blend in with the crowd the culture or whoever you deem to be cool. And the problem with that is that you miss out on the beauty of owning your individual gifts. You minimize your gifts and you shape shift based on your environment because you don't feel comfortable being you you don't feel comfortable being emotionally vulnerable. Being vulnerable terrifies you because you feel like the real you is not enough and that's dangerous. Because the real you is actually enough right? And even when we aren't enough Jesus makes up the gap. Right Lie Number two, you believe that you have never accomplished anything. The result? You end up failing like a pizza hot stank and garbage honey. You subconsciously talk yourself out of ideas before you even have the chance to get started. Raise your hand, if that's been you, anybody, anybody, and then my days felt like this, oh, you start looking in the wrong places, trying to take inventory of what you've accomplished. But here's the thing. If you are comparing yourself to somebody else, you will never measure up, okay? But if you're comparing yourself to somebody else you might go never measure up because you're trying to take inventory using the wrong measuring instrument. You're the blueprint, you're the secret sauce. But you've never discovered that because you're too busy trying to compare yourself. Think about it like this. If you run a program, and you measure the success by the amount of people who showed up, and it was only six couples who showed up, you might count that as a failure. Now, let's say that your metric was to generate $1,800. And you charge each couple each of the six couples $300 for the event. Well, that's a success, right? That now changes your definition of success because you are using a different measuring system, right? You can't measure your accomplishments by somebody else's measuring stick, you will always feel like a failure. Lie Number three, you are 100% of good friend or 100% a bad friend and friend is just a general relationship that I'm talking about. But you can add in anything 100% a good mom will 100% a bad mom will 100% a good spouse etc. You can add whatever role you're talking about. But the result you will never be willing to do a self examination to figure out the areas that you need to grow in. The truth is we all play the villain sometimes all of us who watches all American. And I don't want you to know more and I'm gonna tell you why. Stan, sir, get on my ever loving nerves. Okay, and I think y'all already know what I'm about to say. Maybe you feel me. I don't know. If you're still watching the show. You probably okay with Spencer? He was way too perfect. 24/7 And that's not human. Okay. The only perfect human was Jesus and he was fully God and fully man all in one. Okay. Especially Saint Jesus. Okay, yet here we see Spears acting like Captain save up. Come on. Spoiler alert. Well, it probably ain't even a spoiler alert if you caught up because I'm not even caught up. I haven't watched it in forever. But I'll tell you exactly what did it for me when the man gave up his football scholarship to go back to his own neighborhoods to rebuild. I'm like, Okay, now, I'm gonna say that that's not possible. I know people do that. I know. It's possible. I know that it happens, right? But the likelihood of the neighborhood being rebuilt, the likelihood that he could make as dramatic a change as he did in such a short period of time is baffling to me. Right? Again, y'all know, I support visionaries, dreamers, etc. So I'm here for having a vision and having a dream and seeing something changed. But that went just a little bit too far fetched for me. You mean to me to boy gonna give up his college scholarship. So go back, and a year later, the school is changed. Okay. All right. Okay. Okay. I'm just saying I'm just saying I'm just saying I'm just saying, I'm just saying, you're talking about a lot of systemic oppression, right. And I think it irritates me because I hate systemic oppression. And I fight against systemic oppression. And I know that to find resources and to make stuff happen to change laws to shift entire dynamics and neighborhoods requires so much more. So I kind of think is a little bit of a send off to have a movie where there's a character have a show where there's a character who's so perfect, and he just gives up his football scholarship, and then boom, everything falls into place, and everything is perfect. And now, the guys that had so much trauma in their life that was doing the shoot outs are now best friends with him like, no, no, no, no, no. And people will still watch the show have told me like, oh, they made him less perfect in future seasons on my own care. I don't care. You lost me at the football field. It's a no, it's a no, it's a no, it's a no, it's a no, it's a no, nobody is 100% Good. Nobody is 100% bad. You are a mix. And that goes right along with hustle culture. You don't want 100% Hustle, and you don't want 100% Live a soft life you in between right there hustling responsibly. The fourth lie is that you can't co create your reality. And the result of believing this lie is you never aim for anything outside of your current circumstance because you don't think it's a possibility for you. You won't even attempt to do anything because you're too scared that you're gonna fail. You don't believe that you could actually make a difference like spent It's so you never drive. And if you notice, even as I'm critiquing Spencer, I'm very careful about the words that I'm choosing because a person can make an impact, but it still takes years of toiling and tilling the ground and making stuff happen and putting yourself out there and really rallying support. And if you're not doing that, it's not going to happen overnight. But you can put a dent in things, which is why I think that was season two, the end of season two, or the end of season three. And I held on for all of that time, because at first I was whispers right? I was with him. I believed him, he did make some differences in people's lives like he was putting himself out there. But when they started to show the perspective of Spence always getting it right. That's when I was like,

Dr. Seida 15:51

God, it's kind of a send off for kids watching this right? Sign Out. If you think your kids aren't watching this alive. They watch it, they watch it. Okay, Lie Number five, you believe that you have missed your opportunity, and the result of this lie. Much like any of the other ones, you will continue to stay in the rut that you've been in, because you think you have missed out. You think you was too slow? You think you too, Oh, dude, thank you too young, you think you missed the deadline, you think you can go after it, you think all of these excuses out there. And honestly, it makes you feel like a piece of crap. Because you have the perception that everybody out there is winning, and you are the odd one out. And it's just not true. It's not true. You haven't missed your opportunity, nothing is wasted. Even if you miss one opportunity, it doesn't mean that the door won't open for you again in the future. But first, it starts with your belief system. All the lies were believing are keeping you trapped in your current reality. In your current life. I'm talking to a mom who was struggling to take time for herself. She's like, I'm struggling with so much mom guilt. When I take time for me when I do this when I do that, and I'm so sleep deprived. And I'm like, girls, sleep deprivation is dangerous. So you're out here feeling guilty for taking time for you or trying to catch a nap or whatever. And in reality, if you are not well rested, your kids are probably in more danger than if you are rested. Why? Because a brain that has not slept a brain that is not rested, a body that is not rested, does not make the same choices that someone who is well rested makes you need the mental recovery that comes with sleep so that you can be your best self. But you can't even get to thinking about that. If you're too busy feeling guilty. So she was like, Well, how do I break the cycle? How do I you got to rip the band aid off and you got to just do it honey, Nike trademark the slogan, just do it just totally. You have to do it. So if you found yourself your story, in any of these lies, whether it was all five of them, or one or two of them, I want you to know, just like denarius, Targaryen just like any other person in the world, you can change your life. I shared on my stories a couple of weeks ago, my story is not unique, right? Like I am unique. I am the secret sauce. But my story of overcoming and getting to where I am today is not unique. There are plenty of people who have changed their lives. And let me just set the record straight if somebody believes all she has stuff handed to her. Oh, she did. Baby, baby, baby, baby baby. No, no, no. I got here based on the favor of the Lord. But nothing was handed to me baby girl, I had to pray I had to get some demonic holds broken up out for me some deliverance had to take place, right. And even beyond that I had to work hard to get where I am. And for context, I'm a little black girl on the Southside of Chicago from the same neighborhood where bullets flying by where there's fights in school all the time where there's not a such thing as a peaceful lunch, right? Because there's a fight there's likely going to break out where there are bullets and shooting at any given day. You don't have to be no holiday or Fourth of July or whatever. No, where there's dramatic things that are happening all around you where I have to wear hand me downs because we couldn't afford better than that. Like, that's my story, where I was told no so many times where my belief system that I can make it out of the hood should not have even been, where it was and what it was, except for that who God created me to be to believe against all odds, and I didn't think that that was a special part of me or my story until now I'm older. And I know that but as a kid, I couldn't understand why people just couldn't see, well, even if you don't have our answers. If you believe you can, that's a start. Because if you believe you can do something different, you will go out and look for ways to make that happen. But if you don't believe it can happen, you're going to stay exactly where you are. So I'm telling you that today, if you've been believing these lies, first and foremost, the lies are what is stopping you from your abundant life. The lies are what is stopping you from living better. Now, that's what's holding you back. And if you want to do things differently, you can, you can, and if you don't know how, look for the resources, you already know, if you're trying to create a program and you want to live your abundant life, if you want to create a program where there is impacted you like by how can I create clarity when I don't have clarity for me? How can I influence people and change people's lives? When I can't even change my life? How can I teach people what I know, I know if I'm struggling to organize everything, it's okay, I got you, we got a whole program and 24k vision where you don't have to do things by yourself. We don't create order from the chaos that's in your head, we don't create clarity from all your little sticky notes and your phone notes and everything else. And you're going to create your life of abundance. But it starts with your belief that is possible. And the thing is, even if you don't want to create a program, you can still do this. I want you to start to imagine what your abundant life looks like. And once you've got that written down, yes written down, don't do. Don't do the thing where you listen to the podcast and you try to arrange an email Brian and I are you know you don't forget, don't do that. Write it down. Whether it's written in a note on your phone or written down formally in a notebook, write it down. And once you have it written down, I want you to start looking for resources to make it happen. And if you need some support, you already know hit the link in the show notes or below this video and let's go 24k vision and gonna be open for forever. So if you want to get on it here, come on, come on in. It's time to talk about what I've been loving product recommendations shoutouts to family and friends and overall gratitude. Let's get into it. Welcome back for another one i've been loving this week features Marshawn Evans Daniels. Prayers to share and notes to pass along for believing beggar. I love this because it literally has a quote here. And then so she has like a phrase here and then a scripture and then a quote and on the back. There's space to write a note. So you rip these off and you can include them in cards. You can put it on people's windshields randomly, you know stuff like that if you want to you can put it in a lunchbox for somebody so I want to read the one that I flipped. Oh, I'm just saying that about the Holy Spirit. Let me read the one that I flipped to today. Randomly Okay, I promise I did not schedule this. Difficulty does not disqualify us from Destiny. I'm praying that any disruptions in your life will become paths for greater intimacy, impact and influence with God. Do not be afraid for I have ransom to, I call you by name You are mine, Isaiah 43 and one and then my Sean's quote, fixed beliefs about ourselves block us from God's master purpose. For this reason, God disrupts our formed identity to redirect us into our Bourne Identity. I think we can end on no better note dinette, you feel me? If you enjoy today's episode, share the love share which a mama share which answer you share with your best friend. Then head on over to Apple podcasts and leave us a five star review reviews help the podcast to grow wealth. That's all I have for you today. I'll see you out on these social media streets. Bye

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

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