E101: 3 Reasons Your Story Matters
**This episode was transcribed by Otter.ai, so please forgive any spelling errors.
Dr. Seida 0:00
You're listening to the Loveish podcast. And I'm your host, Dr. Sita hood, Vision architect and licensed therapist. Each week, I'm going to help you to develop the belief and strategy necessary to make an immediate impact on the world by deep diving into topics like mental wellness, faith, relationships, and you guessed it, love. I should mention before we happen to the show, this is not a substitute for a relationship with a licensed therapist. You ready? Let's get it
Dr. Seida 0:39
but honest Oh, let me see it to zero. I don't know what you've been up. Hey, welcome back for another episode of the Loveish Podcast. I am your host, Dr. Sita hood vision architect and licensed therapist. Let's jump right into the episode one thing your mug today. I am still being held in a chokehold by the snick girls. Did y'all try it yet? No, not gonna tell you how tried it. Okay, so we got the snickers coffee on deck and the special little Amazon mug. I saw this on social media. I'm not gonna lie. Like some of the stuff you find on social media. You'd be like, hey, no, not interested. The mugs. The mugs be hidden. And then we have some water because summertime and we are drinking our water and minding all of our business got wonderful. So it is a media Queens episode. And I'll talk about media Queens a little bit later. But I thought it was really fitting to talk about reasonable doubt. If you have not watched Reasonable Doubt yet. Um, you might want to skip the first part of this episode because I'm about to drop all the spoilers, okay. And I know I usually be like, oh, yeah, I'm about to drop a couple spoilers like, No, I'm gonna go in and drop spoilers because I think that frames the episode. Today we're talking about your relationships, your story and why your story matters. Okay, right. All right. I didn't talk that up. Let's dive in. So the storyline for Reasonable Doubt is that you have a highly successful black female attorney. Go girl. Yes, shout out to you. She works tirelessly in the public sector. And she is the best. Okay, the absolute best at what she does, but her personal life is a wreck. Does that sound familiar? I don't know. So she is at the start of the show currently separated from her husband, and she can't decide what it is that she wants to do. She doesn't know if she wants to be with him and make things work or if she is willing to continue living separately and let go of their friendship and their friendship was the basis of their relationship and I'm not gonna lie like if y'all watch this, they look so cute together. Don't bet you like okay match me and having heart eyes relationship goals. excetera I don't know about child but for me, I was like, girl, don't go get your get your husband girl. Go get your was better. No, you can let him go her relationship with her mother. Now. That's the one it's a little bit complicated. Well, actually, husband is complicated as well. All of her relationships are complicated, but my motto, Mama's really complicated. She loves her mother deeply. She understands all the sacrifices that her mom has made for her, but she's also extremely broken from the pain that her mother has caused her. Anybody know what that felt like? Does that story sound familiar to you? So at the end of the season, Jax finally decides to use her voice. Because the pain of staying quiet is greater than the pain of revealing her truth. Jax could have avoided so much drama throughout all the seasons. Had she simply shared her story, her truth, it doesn't matter who else had a different story. It didn't matter who it hurt because this was her reality. And I know some of you listening. And some of the women that I talk to all the time have such a similar story. Just like Jax, there's a person in your life that you love so very deeply, but honestly, the hurt that they've caused goes just as deep. So we're going to talk about why it's important to still share your story. When we get back. We're gonna have a brief word from our sponsor for today's episode. Aren't you tired of holding on to the thing on Barbara said about you in the four Let's grade or exhausted of always having to be the one to organize family dinners. 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Okay, so let's get into it hiding your story is actually costing you I know you feel it. I know you feel it every single day. But here's the question that I want you to answer who is missing out? Because they think that they are worthless and alone? How much would it have helped you to know that there were people who felt like you felt in a particular situation just even to have somebody say, Yeah, I've been there. And if you don't share your story, because you think you were unqualified, I guarantee there is somebody that's out there suffering. And I know it sounds extreme, but it's literally true. Another movie that I watched was flaming high on Disney plus, and if you haven't watched that, I'm about to drop all the spoilers there too. First of all, if you ever hear this episode, Richard monton. Yes, thank you so much for sharing your story. And I hope I said your name, right. Your story is so inspiring, so inspiring. And I think I watched it at a time where I was particularly feeling a little bit discouraged a little bit down, I wasn't going to give up. But when I saw fly my heart, I'm over here screaming at the screen, like you're gonna go make your speech richer. So his story and what he overcame to actually get flame at heart out into the world. He overcame blatant racism. He overcame oppressive systems that were intentionally designed for him to fail. He overcame abuse. But key word he over came and he continued to share his story, even when he was in it when the company was about to pull his product after he put himself out there, called the CEO got them to produce the product when they were about to pull it because he has some haters. He did what he does best, he used his story and he shared his heart. So he merged his story with the stories of the employees that he worked with, and also the gang members that he used to run with and he inspired them to action and he got them to distribute play My hearts in the street and let me just say I for 1am extremely happy that he decided to go on and do that. Because listen, listen, Landa flaming hearts are a staple in my household. They are a key part of my childhood. And I had no clue that this was the story behind flame at hearts. But I'm so happy that he decided to tell his story to continue telling his story not to give up when adversity hit him not to give up even when oppressive systems tried to tell him. You just a janitor, what you think doesn't matter. What you have in your brain doesn't matter the ideas that you have don't matter. Richard was like what they do, and they do. And I love how they showed how he partner with his wife and how inspiring his wife was as well. And how instrumental she was in this process. Judy, if you are watching this, I love you too. I'm so happy that you inspire Richard not to give up during those times where he felt really defeated where he thought his story didn't matter even for just a second. So what am I saying your story has power, your story can change the world. And it starts with unlocking your voice and believing in the power of your voice and so your voice was stolen but you can get it back. Even if we go to Jack's or Richard things happen to them ugly things happen to them. abuse happened to them, and they still made a choice. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter how long it took them, or how many mistakes they made along the way, they still made the choice to use their voice to decide who they were going to be, and to dictate their story. So I think when we grow up, our stories are narrated for us. But we forget that we have the power to write future chapters.
Dr. Seida 10:27
We don't have to be defined by the first couple of chapters of the book, you get to close the chapter where somebody else was the narrator, and start narrating your own version started writing your own story. And I know you want to change your story, because you're still listening to this episode, you're still here, you have been feeling this magnetic pole for a long time, and you've been thinking, maybe it's gonna go away, but it's not going to go away. I can hear you saying you don't actually believe that your story matters. You do believe in the power of story, you do know that stories do matter. But yours? Nah, I don't got enough adversity. I hear you saying it like I don't. I'm still in it. So I can't really talk about that right now. I, I don't really know the next step. So it doesn't really make much sense for me to share my story. And that's a lie. Because sometimes you get the freedom by sharing it while you're in it. And here's the thing, I can't tell you what to do with your story. You got to decide what to do for yourself. And I can tell you that your story will open up so many doors, I was terrified to tell my story of being diagnosed with major depressive disorder back in 2020. But that story opened up an entire new realm for me a new layer of my personality, a new part of me that I didn't know existed. And not only that, it connected me to so many amazing people. The reason why I hadn't shared my story before that even though it was like felt like burning on the inside of me to try to tell the story was because as a therapist, there's so much that says Best Practices is you don't reveal your story, because therapy is not about you. You only reveal your story when it would be beneficial to the client. And I wholeheartedly believe in that. But I also believe in the power of our stories to help heal people. It makes a difference. If you have a therapist that's like, Well, what do you think? How do you feel? Yeah, great. That might be cool, right? That works. But how much more powerful? Is it to say, Yeah, I understand you deeply. I do. I was diagnosed with that here. And this is how I overcame. So this personal experience in combination with these professional tools can help you to heal. And I know some people abuse self disclosure, I'm not talking about an abusive self disclosure, I'm talking about a shared experience between humans that helps the person heal, there's power in that and that goes much further than staying quiet and just giving a set of breathing exercises. Another example of the power of sharing the story. Richard broke the chain of command when he called Roger Enrico, the CEO of the company, but I'm pretty sure he was say that it was still worth it. In fact, I know he would. So I want to talk about how your story qualifies you. But first, we're gonna take a break and have a word from our sponsor for this episode. Made me poolside in Arizona, you're tired of feeling alone and trapped in a cycle of mediocrity. You're tired of constantly juggling all the things to work in a job where you have no control over the work you do. And if one more person tells you just how easy it is to manifest your dreams, you are going to screen. You don't want to keep complaining because you know you're really blessed. But you just feel really miserable where you are and terrified to take the first step. That's why we're here. We're at the milyon collective Inc. And we're gonna help you ditch your notebook and launch your project in as little as three months. It's time to unlock the boldest version of you know more million dollar ideas trapped in your notebooks, or in the notes section of your phone. Deep down you know, you've got the genius, the tenacity and the boldness to bring this project to life. But right now, the path there feels clouded with self doubt. You want a clear step by step strategy to make this project a reality. You want to connect with other bold dreamers too. Just like you, you want a launch strategy that leaves people a static about your project release date and you want to escape hustle culture. Knowing the work that you do makes a difference. We're looking to partner with you. Join 24k vision, a 90 day accelerator for audacious visionaries to ditch their notebooks and launch their project. Need the quick details 90 days of support, accountability and hotseat consulting on our group calls a four day immersive intimate weekend experience at the andhas Luxury Resort and Spa in Scottsdale, Arizona, six months of access to the 24k club to connect with other audacious visionaries, access to our signature system, the visionary blueprint, and so much more. This is not just another program. It is a blueprint and a launch strategy. And we can't wait to partner with you to make your dreams a reality. Go ahead and click the link in the show notes or below this video to learn more.
Dr. Seida 16:18
Welcome back. It is indeed your story that qualifies you your story makes you human. Your story connects you to other people inside of the complimentary community that I host. It's called the abundant life society. I'll leave the link in the show notes. And below this video, we just finished the selfie challenge. And I started the selfie challenge like three years ago, we ran it for Valentine's Day, the last two times that we ran it. And I really wanted to run it to show women that you can celebrate love and loving relationships without being in a romantic relationship, you still have a reason to be excited about life, you still have a reason to be happy that it's February, the love month. And you also need to find ways to practically show yourself love to live a lifestyle of wellness. So that's why I started the challenge. And so it used to be 14 days I shortened it. And we ran it in June this year. And it was seven days long. And we took photos, mental wellness activities, Soul care, physical activities, different things like that. But the thing that stood out to me was one of the ladies in the society said for soul care, she said time with her friends, because a little piece of her heels every time she leaves from any event with them. And I was like, Oh, I felt that. I felt that because we underestimate the power of our friendships. And it's not simply being in a person's presence in the beginning. Yes, by the time you're deep friends, it is that but for the most part, when you're getting started, it's your story that connects you. It's your story that makes you feel understood. It is your story that draws on empathy and sympathy and love and all of those emotions that unite you which are a one day one with your new friends. It's your story. And then it's the story that you get to write with your friends. It's the shared stories that you have about that one time somebody messed up and drop this and be it that and stayed up all night I fell asleep during this. It's the shared experiences that you have from going to concerts together. It is the connection and the emotional safety and the vulnerability that is there. And it starts with your story. Your story matters your story is irrelevant you don't need anything else other than what you have today. You have enough you are enough Girl What's your been watching what you've been reading? What you've been listening so media coins was ah Well, welcome back for another video queens. Okay, I know we've been talking about media all this episode, so I'm gonna give you something else my friend and I read happily ever afters by Elise Brian. I'm not gonna lie. It's not a five star read in my book. I did like the book, but you know, moving along, I'm just gonna take my book Rex, I gotta be honest about how I felt about the book. No shades of the author but it wasn't like one of my favorites. You know why I bring up this book today is because again, spoiler alert. Tessa is one of the main characters here and Tessa was telling herself a gang of stories about how people saw her her worth her self esteem. What she should Do and it really messed up her friendship, her potential romantic relationship, her relationship where parents like there were so many separate fires that she was starting based on narratives that she was believing about herself and about what was possible for her and about our future and about our gifts. So it's just another example of how your story matters why your story matters, because if you fast forward to the end of the book, once she actually talked to people about how she was feeling and share the narrative that was floating around in there, they were like, No, that's actually not how we feel about you. So like, here's the story you created in your mind, here's the reality and how do we choose to move forward writing a new story and that's the same thing that I want to leave you with. Today. You have a new story to be written you can choose today to write something different. What will you choose to write? By
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
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