E100: 5 Steps to Unlock A Bolder YOU!
**This episode was transcribed by Otter.ai, so please forgive any spelling errors.
Dr. Seida 0:00
You're listening to the Loveish podcast and I'm your host, Dr. Sita hood, Vision architect and licensed therapist. Each week, I'm going to help you to develop the belief and strategy necessary to make an immediate impact on the world by deep diving into topics like mental wellness, faith, relationships, and you guessed it, love. I should mention before we happen to the show, this is not a substitute for a relationship with a licensed therapist. You ready? Let's get it
Dr. Seida 0:39
Welcome back for another episode of the Loveish Podcast. I am your host, Dr. Sita hood vision architect and licensed therapist. You today is the 100th episode Yeah, thank you. Thank you. We're celebrating. Yes magic episode. Yes, yes. Yes. Okay, guys. Quiet. Quiet down. It's too much. It's too much. It's too much quiet down. Okay. No, I want to thank you for rocking with me for 100 episodes. I am super excited to be celebrating this 100th episode with you. So for the 100th episode, will you celebrate with me when you hear this episode, I want you to do one of three things or maybe two things or maybe all three of the things. Okay. I want you to number one, share the love share with your mom or your auntie your best friend, your boyfriend, your husband, whoever you feel like would find this podcast episode relevant share the love. That's how the podcast grows. That's how these discussions dive even deeper and transform communities. The second thing I want you to do, I want you to take the time and comment down below on this video podcast. And let me know your favorite moment or your favorite episode out of the hundreds of episodes that are published the 100 episodes 100 episodes okay. It's 100 episodes. Or would you tag me on Instagram at Dr. Sita hood and let me know which one is your favorite episode? Or you could just do all three. You could want all three. I'm not gonna be mad if you do all three. Okay, we got to kick off this 100th episode in the way that I have kicked off all the episodes before this. What's in your mug today? Yeah, if I told you about this coffee before, mangia bitness okay. We might have some new people on the line and they might need to know about this. What's in my mug today is Snickers coffee for the wind? When I tell you that the donut shop has not missed yet. I want you to know the donut shop has not missed this Snickers coffee. Listen, I'm gonna tell y'all something.
Unknown Speaker 3:13
I haven't been to Starbucks. Can you believe it?
Dr. Seida 3:19
Haven't been to Starbucks in over a week because that Snickers coffee is bad. I am gonna go to Starbucks eventually. Okay, wait, that's a lie. I did get a pink drink last week. Okay, disregard that statement. But I haven't been to Starbucks as often because that Snickers so go to your local grocery store. Get the donut shop Snickers I don't know if that's a limited edition coffee or what? But your girl bent on it. And it's good. All right, so let's jump into today's episode. Because I want you to finish out 2023 with the most bold version of you. We are headed into quarter three. Oh my god, can you believe it? Quarter Three, six more months left in the year. And I want you to be your boldest self. So why does boldness matter? Let's talk about it. Boldness helps you to break away from toxic situations. It makes you a better version of you. And boldness helps you to understand layers and parts of you that you didn't even know existed. So I want to talk to you about five blockers of your boldness and then five solutions because we walk in is our boldest self for the rest of the year and really not just even for the rest of the year for the rest of our life. Okay, can we give it up for these curls on camera though? Okay, moving on. Lack of clarity on your vision that is the first boldness blocker all you keep saying to yourself is that you want something different. You keep saying that you feel stuck. You keep saying that you're tired of being in the same position. You keep saying that you don't know what to do to change. You know you Need to change but just don't know where to reach to get the change that you're looking for. You wish something would happen. But you're not really sure what you want to happen, you feel really trapped in your current situation. But you can't figure out what to do differently what pieces to move to get out of this locked, trapped state the picture for the life that you can't stop dreaming about. It's a little bit murky, it's clouded, you catch a glimpse of it in somebody's Instagram story or in the YouTube video that you watch, but you can't quite put your finger on it. You don't know what it could possibly be. That's bonus blocker. Number one, you feel like because you can't really see all the details and stuff is kind of mixed up like this. Like, should you even take a step forward? We'll talk about that in a second. Other people's voices boldness blocker number two other people's voices have floated you whichever way the wind blows since you were a child, and it's time to stop letting other people's voices dictate path like that one time, somebody said that you should start a tutoring program and he was like, Yeah, I am good at tutoring. So you went ahead and you started that program only for it to fizzle out because it wasn't something that you were passionate about. You were good at it, but you weren't passionate about it. Or that one time that your husband God bless him. We love him. Your husband said they beat this pancake fire you should sell your pancakes and people bought pancakes but they said that it wasn't as heavy and thick as a brick. They couldn't eat Oh pancake what how some milk because it was getting caught in a throat. Okay. I'm thinking number two Baker's scratch that off the list. Yikes. All of this affects your ability to be bold, and to step into the future. Because we make decisions. We take bold risks based on past actions and the results of those actions moving forward boldness blocker number three past trauma, hard experiences can absolutely snatch away your boldness, let's say for example, you know that you're supposed to live stream, you really want a live stream, but maybe you had a stalker in the past. And now you're scared to show your face online. You don't know what to do to put yourself out there. But at the same time, keep yourself protected. And this is a very real fear. And it makes sense. But once you get healed, healing from the trauma past the trauma, then you can find the solutions you need so that you can still do the things that you need to do overthinking that's going to be bonus blocker number four, you tend to get caught up in your head about all the little insignificant details that really don't actually matter. And they keep you stuck to the point that you won't take action. I used to only go live or only record when my face will be and my girls were popping. Now that's not the case. And I'm gonna just be real. Do y'all know how many messages y'all missed out on because my face wasn't weak back then? No. And I'm not saying that you don't have to be cute when you're recording because you should take pride in your appearance. However, that should not be the single thing that you base you're going live off of or you're recording a message. It's only your job to speak the message, right? It's your job to show up and to do the work and to do what is necessary. Looking good is a nice part of it.
Dr. Seida 8:52
But also, do you know how many times I showed up on a live or something where I feel like my hair is just crazy. My face? Don't look how I like to look. And somebody's been like, oh my gosh, you look so cute. Wow. And I'm like, Okay, I'll take it, you know, so you can't let overthinking the small details hold you back. And the last the fifth and the final bonus blocker, fear of being seen. I'm gonna take a sip on that because I know some of y'all like fear of being seen. And we're gonna talk about this a little bit later in episode, but you got to stop. We got to stop being afraid of being seen. Okay, so we've gone through the rundown of things that have been blocking your boldness. Now let's talk about the things that you can do today to help you become a more bolder version of you the solutions. So let's go back to the first one. If you have cloudy vision, the solution for that is to take the pressure off. I know that sounds counterproductive, but seriously take the pressure off. Allow yourself to do Sit, I was talking to a client the other day and she was like so frustrated, she's like, I feel stuck. I don't know what to do. I don't even know what's next, I can't see the vision, I'm not sure what I should be doing. I just feel like I'm not doing enough. And that makes me feel really bad about myself. And it drives me into a depressive episode. And I don't want to do all these things every day all the time. Because I feel stuck, I feel inadequate. I don't feel like I am enough. So I paused in that minute. And I said, Okay, let's go through this exercise, I took her through a small variation of a visualization exercise that I do with my 24k clients. And I would say that the version of the exercise that I did with her was probably five to seven minutes long. And we went through that exercise. And she had six concrete steps, six concrete pieces of her vision. After that, I said, your vision is inside of you, you know, what you want to do, you know how you need to move forward. The problem is you can't quiet yourself enough to hone in on your vision, you have to take the pressure off of seeing a perfect vision, even the first version of your vision that you see, that won't be the final thing. It'll be more refined, and it'll be upgraded. So you don't need to put pressure on yourself to get it right the first time. Because you're not going to be right the first time, you have freedom to imagine different things. Okay, let's go on to number two, listening to the random voices or the other voices. The solution for this is an alignment check. Simply put, you should not be following everybody's voice. Everybody doesn't believe what you believe. They don't have a vision for your project like you do you see things differently because you were intentionally designed to see things differently. Your impact is designed to hit different people value differences when they can see the uniqueness of a thing. Take for example, you made a TV, right? There is a distinct difference in insignia TVs, and Samsung TVs, there's a difference. And I'm just saying, clearly I'm Samsung nation over here. But there is a difference that you can visually see, you can understand the differences in the usage, the differences in the way the software works, the differences in even the remotes and how they work. You know what I'm saying the quality of a product. So everybody is not in alignment with your purpose, with your vision with your destiny. So you have to do the work of getting your relationships in alignment. Now if you've got the question how to actually get your relationships in alignment, I want you to click the link below and check out the aligned bundle, it is completely free. But there are three separate pieces in there to help you get more aligned relationships down to even asking yourself if you should hold on to a relationship. If you've ever been in a position where you feel like a relationship is toxic, or you feel like maybe there was an incident that occurred and you're trying to decide if you should move past that incident to still be friends. There is a masterclass on repairing broken relationships in the alignment bundle. And it's going to give you the reconfiguration formula, which is a three step formula if you decide that you want to hold on to that friendship. So click the link below in the shownotes or down below this video to grab the aligned bundle for free. Okay, past trauma holding you back. The solution for that is simple. Go heal. It's very simple. And Simplicity is the answer. But the healing is ugly. And here's the thing who says that you can't start your thing. As you are healing, you might discover another layer of yourself that you didn't even know existed when you start the process of healing. These episodes are often inspired by my own pain, and my own journey and my own stories. And I share my stories and lessons in conjunction with my professional training. Sometimes though, before you start you have to take the time to heal. Because becoming a bolder version of you requires a healed you and taking the step to heal is a bold choice. So there's certain situations where healing first is definitely advisable. Because you don't even know what you actually believe if you're coming out of a traumatic situation. For example, religious abuse, you got to take the time to heal and discover what it is that you believe. But another example is getting publicly humiliated in a relationship and struggling to tell your story but finally being brave and bold enough to tell your story And then turn it around and charge somebody $3,000 to help them learn to heal. First off, my heart goes out to anybody that is in a situation like this, I don't envy that person and my heartbreaks for a person that is in that situation, because one, it takes courage to come forth. But to maybe you don't actually recognize that you need to slow down and to heal. Like, it's not just a thing that people are saying, in this particular instance, you actually need to heal, you actually need to take the time to sit down and heal. Because there was a lot of damage that was done from the religious institution or the toxic relationship that messed you up. And not to mention public like public humiliation, that's a whole nother leg like all of these are separate pieces that you have to heal from. And then three, you're not even done learning the lessons when you haven't completely healed. So for certain situations, you do need to heal, but also you learn things in the process of healing that then you can use later on, maybe to help you benefit and make some money. Alright, so the fourth thing that I want you to do if you're caught up in overthinking, here's what I want you to do, do the most, okay, in the words of a confident woman, and I'm gonna take out this cuss word. These chicks don't do enough. That's why I do the most peer re good. Okay, I love Cardi B and y'all know, I love Cardi B. Cardi B be making me feel seen, okay? Here's the thing. visionaries are over thinkers, period, if you weren't an over thinker, then you would lack the vision and the dreams that you have that you know and love about yourself. And in order to make deep impact in your community, you have to be an overthinker for somebody who is not doing the most or doing much at all your vision, your dreams, your actions, all of that seems like you're doing too much. So do the most do the most. The people that do the most have the deepest impact, right? Take bold risks and do the most because it's in the work that you're doing that you unlock the new levels. Again, let's take a video game example. Let's say that you jump to a new height or you dive into a new area and you go down a new path. There is a hidden treasure or a superpower that somebody who's not going to go that way is not going to discover because they didn't have the boldness to go down that path. So do the most do the most and do it to the fullest. Okay, let's circle back around to the fear of being seen. Here's the solution for that you ready? You ready? Because I noticed that holding a lot of y'all back you and particular angle say your name but you know I'm talking to you.
Unknown Speaker 17:59
We already see you. We already see
Dr. Seida 18:04
you we see your brilliance, we see your amazingness we see your genius we see you we already see everything about you before you saw you we saw you we see you sort of Jokers are you? Why are you busy hiding and you've been hiding for the majority of your life we see you we have always seen you. We have always known that what you are just coming to understand about yourself. We've always known that that has existed in you and we see the difference that you make in people's lives. So you might as well come out of the corner and be you. Nothing great ever came from hiding and you ain't no coward. So come on, come on. Come on your world changer. You're a visionary. You're an inspiration. You are a beacon of hope come on out the corner. If I was standing next to you right now I will be grabbing you and pulling you up out that corner because we all ready see, you saw a really quick recap five steps to unlock the boldest version of you won the blocker cloudy vision, take the pressure off that's what we're gonna do two random voices, get an alignment check and you're gonna go ahead and click the link down below and grab your free aligned bundle three past trauma, we're going to take the time to go heal. We're not sitting on our healing and staying comfortable in our trauma anymore. We're not cozying up to trauma, or overthinking do the most Be bold do the most be you number five fear of being seen. We already see you so come on out of hiding. And then as a bonus if you really want to be bold because There's a lot of you that listen that I don't even know I don't listen, if you are listening and you enjoy this episode, comment down below tag me on social media tag me on Instagram at Dr. Sita hood, and let me know your favorite part of this episode and once again, we're celebrating the 100th episode of the Loveish podcast. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. And there is nobody else I would rather celebrate it with than you it's time to talk about what I've been loving product recommendations shoutouts to family and friends and overall gratitude. Let's get into it welcome back to another what I've been loving and this week I've been loving drumroll blues Snickers coffee brought to you by the donut shop. They should be paying me Okay, whether or not I just love Snickers coffee. But okay, that's one thing and I've been telling you all about that. But I'm not even gonna lie to you. Okay, so I had posted on my stories a while back about sleep stories and how sleep stories are bomb and they really help you go to sleep and you're like, oh my god, Dr. City you been holding out you've been hunting out. So I want to push out a little something else. Somebody's YouTube channel that I discovered that I really love. I'm gonna say this I'm gonna get real quiet.
Speaker 2 21:33
ASMR I don't know how she creates her stuff. But all of her videos are talking really softly like this. And they're meant to put you to sleep. And she's doing stuff on the camera like this. So if you like ASMR stuff. You need help going to sleep. Go to ASMR
Dr. Seida 22:07
what topic could I do? ASMR yes or no? All right. If you enjoy today's episode, share the love. Share it with your mom and share with it share it with your best friend. Then head on over to Apple podcast and leave us a five star review. reviews help the podcast to grow. Well. That's all I have for you this week.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
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