E92: How to Fail Forward
**This episode was transcribed by Otter.ai, so please forgive any spelling errors.
Dr. Seida 0:00
You're listening to the Loveish podcast. And I'm your host, Dr. Sita hood, Vision architect and licensed therapist. Each week, I'm going to help you to develop the belief and strategy necessary to make an immediate impact on the world by deep diving into topics like mental wellness, faith, relationships, and you guessed it, love. I should mention before we happen to the show, this is not a substitute for a relationship with a licensed therapist. You ready? Let's get it
Dr. Seida 0:39
Hello, hello. Welcome back for another episode of the Loveish Podcast. I am your host, Dr. Sita hood vision architect and licensed therapist. If you are watching this episode on your favorite listening platform, I want to let you know it is a video podcast, come on over to YouTube. Come on, come on, come and sit down with us and have a good time. Okay, all right. Today we're talking about failing forward. We're talking about failing forward because it's important. I know a lot of people do not like the F word. If you're one of those people that don't like the F word I need you to learn to be okay with the F word. Okay? Now, we are not under the assumption of faking like, everything's okay. But we're also going to just embrace failure, we're not going to run from failure. Okay, so the concept of failing forward, this is part of my visionary blueprint system and a leg that I teach people because when you are in process of breathing life into a thing, when you are on a journey of creating, we do not put our head in the sand and act like failure is not anything right? Like, oh, I don't feel blah, blah, whatever. But we also do not run from failure, we are very real about understanding that failure is real failure is part of the process. Okay. So when we talk about this concept of failing forward, it is an essential concept to breathing life into your dreams. It's an essential concept to seeing your vision come to life, because you are going to inevitably fail along the way. So let's talk about failing forward. When we talk about failing four, we're talking about failing with a purpose, failing with the intention of giving up. Now failing is not the plan. We are hoping for the best here. But even if we do not hit the best, having the will to get up. That's how we define failing forward, having the will to get up hoping for the best. But even if the worst comes and we fail, according to whatever our standard was, we still have enough courage to get back up and to try again. Okay, here's why you need to fail forward, personal growth and development, you grow and you develop when you fail forward. If you are constantly succeeding, okay, you might know that that's working. But that's only that one particular way that it works. And maybe if a thing comes really easily to you, you don't understand or learn all the pieces that it takes to maintain. So very simply, I want to draw your attention to like a person, let's say a college student that was given a car, they are given a brand new car, their parent pays the car No, or pay for it flat out, they pay car insurance, they pay all the things in between, right, this kid literally only has to drive the car. And so then when something happens, and they no longer have that support of the parent, or it's time for them to get their own car, they have no clue how to take care of the car, if they were never informed on how to find a car, how to pay the car note how to keep up with the car maintenance and you know what you need to do, who do you call How do you get this fixed? There's no depth, no growth, no development, because the thing was handed to you. Am I saying that parents should not buy their kids cars? Absolutely. In fact, I think it would be wonderful to buy your kid a car, but I think that you also need to educate them. And that way they have the knowledge that they need moving forward. So failing forward allows you to grow personally and to have some development in the lane of what you're talking about. It also helps to increase your resilience, your perseverance, and your grit. Okay, ain't nothing gonna increase show grit like having to drive a rusty dusty car. Okay. Again, I'm not saying that you you have to start from a low place, right? I'm just saying, I learned how to take care of my car. So okay, really the backstory here, I had to save up all my tiny little coins. Okay. And I saved up $1,000 Because back then $1,000 For a car was like, yes. Okay, girl, you Oh. So I saved up $1,000 And really low key, I should have saved up more. But again, this was just me going off the knowledge that I had. I saved up that money. And I went around looking for a car. I'm even a little bit embarrassed to say it looking for a car on Craigslist. Yikes. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. So I was looking for a car on Craigslist. Right? And I found one a 90 a Hyundai Elantra, okay. Right. And that little thing, the wheels was falling off, it was barely functioning, the thing was smoking like, but it was my car, it was my car, I was like, work, you don't have some transportation, we got to pay for the bus no more. And so that all the car trouble that came with that, you know, initially I felt like I was freaking out and having a hard time and all of that. But initially, I mean, after some time, I learned that it was actually okay. Like, if you get a flat tire, it's all good. You got insurance, girl, car insurance, I got to come and change that for you, or whatever the case is, you learn not to freak out over every little thing that doesn't go your way. Again, a car's just a good example. But there's so many other examples of failures and failing forward and how you can develop grit, resilience and perseverance in a situation. Another reason to fail forward is you get to improve the way that you make decisions, what is an experiment, but a plan failure now an experiment you hope that it works, you hope that it succeeds. But you're also open to the possibility that failure is plausible that failure is a very real part of the process. So the thing is, when you plan an experiment, you know that failure is not going to stop you from acting. So the plausibility of failure does not stop you from moving forward. And that's the mindset that you have to embrace in life in general, but especially you as a visionary you with your project you with your dream you with your goal, you have to embrace the mindset of failing forward and knowing that everything that you try just won't be successful. And it might not be successful for the time being, but it may bring future success. One of the examples of that is this journal. So I created this journal in 2020, to the beginning of 2022, as I was planning for my 2022 retreat for visionaries, and, you know, women that want to tap into their dream. So this is a 90 day wellness journal, I created this, I was super excited about it. I was like, Yes, this is one of the things that's going on in their boxes. And then I ended up canceling my retreat. And I was like, dang, I just created this whole journal for nothing, right? Like I was pre planning in advance, I had it down to the science of what I was going to do. And then I thought that was the end of it when I cancelled my retreat. But as it turns out, I hosted a journaling for mental wellness workshop. I'll link that down below, just in case you're interested because the replays available, but I hosted a journaling for mental wellness workshop when I was talking to the participants about journaling, this came up and they were like, Yo, where can we purchase that? And I was like, Yeah, I didn't list this for sale. And so they bought a couple of copies. And that gave it purpose. But also, this is one of the things that is going into the box that I'm giving people that are signing up for my new program. That's a little secret, okay. That's part of it. Okay. So anyway, you have improved decision making, you have enhanced creativity and innovation, because you start to get creative when things don't work the typical way that you thought they would. So if you try a thing, and it doesn't work in that way, you go back to the drawing board and you're like, Hmm, how can I make this thing pop? Because I know that this is relevant. I know that people need it. I've heard what people have said, How can I make it pop? What can I do? So failing forward enhances you Your creativity, failing forward also increases your confidence and your self awareness. After you try things a couple of times and you notice what didn't work, you are that much more closer to what does work. And you can have confidence in your work.
Dr. Seida 10:15
So when I talk about this, the visionary blueprint, I've been talking about this for quite a while I use these strategies from the visionary blueprint back in 2011. I used to use these strategies with my clients, and I was saying the same things. And I would print worksheets for them all the time. And then I wrote a blog on it in 2015. And then I wrote this book here, which was a variation of what I did back in 2011. I wrote this in 2017. So this is still like available. This has some of the dynamics like the beginning dynamics of relationship aspects from the visionary blueprint. So this and for those that are listening, I'm holding up the 20 Days to Better relationship workbook available on Amazon shameless plug, go get your copy, girl, okay? No, I developed that in 2017. And then it was birthed into an entire system, it expanded from just being about relationships to being about something much bigger, your purpose, your identity, discovery of who you are discovery of your voice in 2020. And then it was refined and 2021, and refined in 2022. So the visionary blueprint is not brand new, it's not brand new, the accelerator that's coming now, y'all heard it here on the podcast, the accelerator that's coming soon is going to be in a different format, than I've done it before, because I'm combining the things that I love to do and how I've done it for people that people have given really positive feedback, but it is the most refined version of the program. And so I have confidence in it, because I've been using it and revamping it and failing forward with this process, failing forward with what I call it failing forward with the container that I put it in failing forward with how it's marketed in so many different ways that I have full confidence in it now that it is been refined, that it is ready, that people are finding success. They're having success with the program. So what I'm saying is, you have to fail forward, you fail into your purpose. That's exactly how I became a social worker as well. I went to school for pre med because I was like, I want to be a doctor. I'm gonna help children. And I'm I was like you, but you don't even like math and science, though. So how does one work out for you? And then I was like, Okay, fine. And I was undecided for a while. And somebody from the social work department, I don't even remember like, how she linked up with me what happened? I don't remember none of that. But whatever the case is, she came up to me one day, and she's like, You know what, you will make a really good social worker, have you thought about social work? I was like, girl, are you trying to take people kids away? She was like, well, that's not all social workers do. So let me teach you about this program. And when I stumbled into social work, I fell in love. So becoming undecided from being a pre med major could have been viewed as a failure, I would count that as failing forward. Because it wasn't until I had to admit that I did not want to do the math and science that came along with pre med major that I was able to now pivot into social work. So you have to continue to be refined, continue to allow yourself to fail into the mistakes to fail into your purpose. So steps and strategies are failing forward, embrace the concept of planned experiments, it might work, but am I gonna, and experiment means that you're willing to try again, okay, so we're going to embrace planned experiments. And we're not going to be afraid of going back to the drawing board, we're not going to be afraid of refining what we have, we are going to unlock our creativity to the max when we fail at something and I want you to manage your expectations for your experiment, you can and you should dream really, really big and as big as possible, you should absolutely 100% aim for the top. But you should also be really realistic about where you're at about your experiences about your reach about how much work you're willing to do because your vision can only go as far as the work that you're willing to put in to make it come to life. So that means that I can't be sitting over here talking about yep, I want to host the retreat in Jamaica, but I want to do it for $25 a person so where are you gonna get the rest of that money from What's gonna happen, how you gonna do that? What's going on, you have to be willing to consider all the possibilities and be realistic for where you are at. So again, it is important for you to fail forward because failing forward means that you get to learn grit, you get to be more creative in your approach, you get to refine what it is that you're working at. And you get to learn and grow as a person and you know what, I'll be honest like I'm recording this podcast and I'm well aware that you all probably hear them cutting grass in the background that just started when I can call them disrespectful. We just go on about our business okay. regard the grass cutting in the background, all right. It's time to talk about what I've been loving product recommendations shoutouts to family and friends and overall gratitude. Let's get into it. Hi, hi. Hi. Welcome back to another one. I've been. Listen, listen, listen, listen, I'm about to put you on some game. Okay. Wellness is a lifestyle. We practice wellness. 24 sad then. Okay. So in practicing wellness, Bada bing, bada boom. Okay, I am using the bo Houma be Houma steam eyemask I'm definitely going to link this in the show notes and also in the video description down below. But this right here, this theme I'm asked is Bay, you open up this pack and you just put it right across your eyes, and it gets hot on its own. And it's lavender scented, this. This is just wonderful. Okay, I don't know if you are like me, and sometimes your eyes get tired from looking at screens or you just want some relaxation, right? This thing right here me putting me to sleep. Okay, that was some thunderstorm sound. Honey, I'm out of there. So I'm going to link this I'm asked for you down below. And then the other thing here is collagen gel masks that go underneath their eyes. They reduce the look of dark spots under your eyes. Again, these are going to be included in the show notes or if you are watching on YouTube, I'm going to include the link for this in the description box below. But this is what I have been loving as of late. Okay, okay. If you enjoyed today's episode, share the love share with a mama share which it share with your best friend. Then head on over to Apple podcasts and leave us a five star review reviews help the podcast to grow. Well. That's all I have for you today. I'll see you out in the social media streets. Bye
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
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